Excerpt from Chapter Eleven of R. Mackey’s Humorous Guide to Owning an Equine,
Blood, Bruises, and Broken Bones: Bonding With Your Horse Through Injury
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Technical Term(s) Used:
rete mi·ra·bi·le (m
-rä
b-l
), n. – A vascular network interrupting the continuity of an artery or vein, as in the glomeruli of the kidney or in the liver (American Heritage Dictionary). In horses, the fine network of veining that extends through the equine’s nasal cavity and functions to cool the brain during workout. Literally ‘the miraculous net’, derived from the Latin.
Introduction to Nosebleeds
Nosebleeds, in both the human and the horse, can be unnerving, messy, and, frankly, a pain in the rump. However, like many injuries, they can also be pretty hilarious… if you get yourself into the right mindset! After all, they don’t usually hurt all that much, they stop quickly as a general rule, and the worst consequence? A broken nose, which will get you all sorts of sympathy from your friends. Horses usually don’t mind them much either, but when it comes to your equine, remember the advice from the beginning of this book: always call your vet if you have a concern, no matter how slight, about any injury.
I
If you get this particular nosebleed, you’ll probably never even notice it, thinking it must be drool flung back from a tossed head, or maybe it’s the sweat from your brow dripping down your face. So you just wipe it away with your black suede-and-cotton glove, while your horse is still moving underneath you, both reins in one hand. It is often caused from something you inhaled while riding which irritates and causes you to rub at your nose, and most often occurs while on the trail or in hot, dusty weather. The last traces of it usually vanish, unnoticed, when you plunge your face into the horse’s trough to quench your thirst as he does.
II
The next is incidental, highly unexpected, strangely painful, and is the horse’s fault in a uniquely roundabout way. Of course, they’re all the horse’s fault at the heart of it, save one, and they’re the only thing you can rightfully blame them for. In every other case – every kick, every fall, every bite and cut and injury – it is your fault. Always. It is the one ironclad rule; only when the blood pours from your nose and down your face do they become responsible. It seems an arbitrary rule to many, and so it probably is – but many riders find they can accept any pain that doesn’t involve their face as being their own fault. But when so sensitive a part of the anatomy is injured, it’s asking a bit much to blame it on yourself, or so this author has found! This particular nosebleed can be blamed on the stiff stalks of hay that jab you in the nose as you attempt to feed your deeply amused horse, who will later refuse to eat his bloodied dinner. Often, too, you will have to clean up the half-a-dozen things you were attempting to carry; this injury usually happens when you’re in a hurry and attempting to balance hay, grain, supplements, and a full-to-overflowing bucket of water.
III
The single exception the above rule, this one is your own fault and involves the handles of pitchforks, the tines of rakes, and a certain human carelessness in where you step. Unlike your horse, who never steps on anything (except your feet, on purpose), you are a clumsy oaf. A note: this will never happen in private, and whoever sees will never let you forget!
IV
From the ground, and from the rocks half-buried in it, or from the white rail fence or the unmoving and unforgiving tree you strike as you tumble from the saddle. It is usually embarrassing, but never in any way debilitating. Often (usually, always) it is showy; just enough blood to stain your show clothes. But nothing is ever broken; you’ll have no battle scars.
V
The most painful nosebleed you will get is almost the most common… but it is also the most unavoidable, and the most completely the horse’s fault. Remember that a horse can see almost 350° around its body, and so unless you are directly behind him or very tiny and right in front of his nose, he knows exactly where you are at all times. And so you may be comforted as one part of their anatomy or other smacks you full in the face and the stars burst behind your eyes. He was aiming, and you are blameless. The river of red is gratifyingly bright and your nose is usually broken. Wear it as a badge of honor – it happens to us all eventually – and watch your horse look pleased and just a little guilty.
VI – VII
For the last, I must adopt a somewhat more serious tone, for these are the nosebleeds of the horses themselves. They are simpler beasts than we humans, and they get only two types, the redness flowing out from the rete mirabile, the miraculous net that cools their blood: the laughably minor and the usually deadly. Either they have bumped their nose or ruptured a lung; it is often difficult to tell which, for the symptoms are exactly the same. The worst is when you are both bleeding from the nose – for horses can fall too, and will often take you down with them when they do – and waiting for the vet the come. For many this is the worst of all moments, although it happens but rarely and the consequences are usually minor; you not knowing whether to stop your own nosebleed or try to staunch his, with the blood pooling on the soil or in the barn aisle, staining hands and fur.
